Dear readers, much to my delight and to my mother’s chagrin, I am writing another sex article.
Although I am far from a sex expert (a sexpert?), as I’ve been single since before the pandemic, I am somewhat of a master in the masturbatory field. Ok, so I’m very masterful.
Remember when Liam Neeson did his iconic phone monologue in Taken and touted his expertise? “But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career.”
That’s pretty much me, only I’m pleasuring myself, not threatening to brutally murder the people who have kidnapped my daughter. I’m only guilty of murdering my vagina!
So when my editor asked me if I wanted to take the WaterSlyde for a ride, I said “Oh, hell yes!” and hopped onboard.
What Is The WaterSlyde?
According to Lovability’s description, the Waterslyde is “A fab sex toy alternative to your vibrator, giving you and your V a new, unique pleasure sensation while simply enjoying a bath!”
The device is an innovative patented water diverter that attaches to a bathtub faucet. When the water is turned on, it delivers a flow of water right to the vagina’s vulva.
“For many women, the rush of water over their sensitive body parts was their first pleasure experience. At some point, however, it is no longer comfortable to practice ‘bathtub yoga.’”
Full disclosure: I am not a bath person, but I am willing to sacrifice a few showers in the name of journalism and scientific research. And who knows, if this product does turn my bathtub into my new favorite sex toy, I could become an avid bath enthusiast.
Color me intrigued, as I have sat on a few jacuzzi jets in my time – haven’t we all?
Unboxing the WaterSlyde
The WaterSlyde arrived in cute pastel packaging, and when I opened the box, it looked like a slide, hence the name. They sent me a pink one (it comes in three colors – pink, baby blue, and lavender) and it is attached to the faucet with a black satin ribbon – ooh la la!
My favorite thing about it, so far, was the door hanger that came with the toy, which says “Goddess Bath Zone” and can be hung on the bathroom door. This says to roommates or partners that you are not to be disturbed, you’re having some “me” time.
On the back of the door hanger was a lovely message from WaterSlyde inventor Maureen Pollack, which read:
Thank you for supporting a women-owned business and, most of all, taking care of yourself.
I believe practicing self-love through self-exploration helps women be more assertive, set boundaries, and build relationships. I created the WaterSlyde because I’m on a mission to remove guilt from self-care and to make your bath experience as healthy and pleasurable as possible.
Who would have known that what started off as a little idea would grow into a self-care revolution. Thank you for being part of it!”
No, thank YOU, Maureen, and amen and hallelujah to everything you said.
Testing the WaterSlyde
I hung the door hanger even though I live alone because it was such a fun addition, and I ran a bath.
Attaching the Waterslyde was super easy and can be done while you’re in the tub – don’t fill it all the way up, though, as you need to use the water to enjoy your toy. I’m not saying I did this and water spilled over the side, just a warning that you may be distracted and not notice the water level is rising.
You can choose the water pressure as well, and of course I went full tilt because why not?
But even with the faucet on high, it was not enough to bring me to orgasm. Now, this is in no way the fault of the product, as it felt very good, but it would need a fire hose attached for me. It’s just the way I’m built and getting to that place takes much more than a concentrated stream of water aimed at my vagina.
That is not to say that you cannot help yourself out with some finger manipulation, but that doesn’t work for me either. My clitoris says “Vibrator or GTFO.”
Still, though, I would highly recommend the WaterSlyde, because even though it didn’t have the intended effect, it was still enjoyable and relaxing. I definitely see why other women adore this product and why it brings them to climax.
About The WaterSlyde
The following is a complete breakdown from the Waterslyde site, detailing all the ins and outs of the groundbreaking pleasure tool!
The WaterSlyde is the most hygienic, body-safe, and natural way a person can experience pleasure.
A WaterSlyde user (aka Slyder) relies only on the rhythm and sensation of clean water from the sanctuary of a bathtub. And that rhythm is always unique and never the same, providing the opportunity to enjoy multiple speeds and a variety of pressures and temperatures.
The pulse of the water flowing off the tongue of the WaterSlyde feels like everlasting oral. ‘Nuf said.
WaterSlyde is truly hands-free, so you can stay focused on receiving pleasure.
The WaterSlyde can be enjoyed solo or with a partner – either sitting behind you in the bath or astride the tub.
The WaterSlyde is durable and long-lasting (odds are you’ll only ever need to buy just one), and doesn’t require batteries.
The slow arousal buildup from the WaterSlyde leads to some of the most intense orgasms (just ask adult film star and self-described water maturbator Dani Daniels).
There is NOTHING available on the market like the revolutionary, patented WaterSlyde aquatic stimulator.
For moms who’ve recently given birth, or for women struggling to experience pleasure during sex (due to trauma or painful intercourse/ dyspareunia, for example), the WaterSlyde offers a safe, soothing, calming pleasure experience.
Would you try the WaterSlyde? Share with us in the comments!
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