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Southerners have Dolly Parton, and while we love Dolly, us Northeastern folks cannot truly claim her as our own.
Our equivalent? We have Martha Fucking Stewart – and that’s not too shabby (except for that time when she was convicted of insider trading and went to prison). But she did her time and that lil incident didn’t seem to tarnish her rep as the true OG of all things home-related.
Decor, cooking, lifestyle, you name it; home and style influencer Martha Stewart walked so goop could run. Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t even born and Martha was already killing it as a model.
Which brings us to our point – the Martha Stewart thirst traps. If you haven’t seen this 81-year-old stunner slinging hot pics on her ‘gram, you should rectify that immediately.
In fact, we’ll even do it for you and list our favs below.
The Thirst Traps
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On July 21, 2020, the public started to get horny for Martha with this hot pool shot. The caption was about her pool and its low chlorine, but who cares? Not us. We were captivated by her lips, her bone structure, her skin, and her shoulders (which is weird). This tasteful thirst trap trapped all of the internet.
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On Sept. 18, she blessed us with this IG post of her posing in a gorgeous white silk robe with fur cuffs, with a spicier caption than the pool post. Holding a coffee, she wrote, “See you liked it hot😉 so here’s something else to sip on…” MARTHA! You KNOW what you did, and we are here for it.
Martha Stewart out here thirst trapping pic.twitter.com/fKotBLYuDS
— 🛸🐐Ziggy B🐐🛸 (@therealziggyb23) October 14, 2022
On Saturday, Stewart’s passionate tweet about Green Mountain Coffee Roasters was trending on Twitter. Did it have anything to do with a new line of home products or a new cookbook? It did not.
The reason people went into horny overload is that Martha appears to be entirely nude in the video, save for a Green Mountain Coffee Roasters apron.
Not only does she look sexy af, but her voice is some sensual ASMR. Ms. Stewart knows exactly what she’s doing – and, personally, we hope she never stops.
We don’t blame you if you are thirsting after Martha Stewart’s thirst traps. Tell us what you think in the comments!
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