When was the last time you treated yourself? I mean, truly treated yourself? I don’t mean buying a new shirt you need for work but treating yourself to an item or occasion that speaks to your soul in a way that no one else understands? For me, it’s going to the Olive Garden. Their breadsticks and salad have a hold on me that I cannot explain.
My husband, on the other hand, hates the Olive Garden. For years, I did not visit the restaurant because I did not want to be seen as that person dining alone and scarfing down carbs. As I get older, though, I’ve come to realize how stupid that fear is. Why am I depriving myself of what is literally the best breadstick ever made simply because I’m afraid of what others think?
“What is my Olive Garden?” can be your fill-in-the-blank question. We absolutely need to find more time to connect with ourselves and treat ourselves to moments that can fill up our cup. When I was a child, every decision I made revolved around my own personal happiness. As I got older and more people relied on me, I cared less about what made me happy and put more emphasis on others.
As a people-pleaser by nature (and also a mother), I find it hard to believe I would allow myself any time for personal happiness. But as I ignored that need more and more, it got louder and louder. One day, I had the realization that if I did not think of myself as highly as I think of others, I was going to break.
Taking Myself On A Date
As a mother of two, and someone that works from home and does most of the domestic responsibilities, I did not know how I was going to sneak away for some much-needed alone time. I decided I would start small and head to Target, kid-free, with the idea of wandering the aisles and holding a Starbucks coffee.
I requested my husband watch the kiddos for an hour while I went out on errands and headed to a few of my favorite stores, like Target, with no real agenda other than to enjoy myself. It was liberating! I didn’t have to focus on getting 50 items for the house, what the are kids whining about, or how long I’m taking. That moment of pure enjoyment allowed me to realize how much I needed to make additional time for myself.
As busy individuals, parents or not, we all have different abilities on how we can treat ourselves or take ourselves out on a date. In a perfect world, I would be beachside in Hawaii for two weeks without anyone bothering me. Unfortunately, my bank account doesn’t allow for such plans, so even a simple trip to Target can recharge my batteries to handle the rest of the day or week ahead with a clear mind and lighter heart.
When I give myself a few hours to go work out, or spend time with friends away from my family and work obligations, I come back a happier and more well-rounded wife and mother.
Creating Your Own “Me Time”
The mental clarity that taking a step back from my other responsibilities can bring is so rewarding to the people I love the most that they often encourage me to focus on myself. The best advice I can give is to be realistic with what your “me time” will look like.
If you are a single parent with limited help around you, the idea of taking time for yourself might feel almost impossible. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people around you who care for you. People are always willing to help — all you have to do is ask!
Start small and build that muscle of self-love back up. Try and remember the things you used to love doing or places you used to love going, before life got in the way. Maybe there is a new pastime or skill set that you are wanting to attempt, but your spouse isn’t interested, or you don’t want to do it alone. I dare you to try!
Self-love is put on the back burner more and more nowadays. If we don’t take time out from life and pursue the things we enjoy, what is the point of life? We are not robots on legs meant to just serve our work and family obligations. We are allowed joy and should prioritize it more in our weekly schedule.
I hope this encourages you to pursue things that you may have been putting off for a while because you feel you do not deserve those moments. Know that you do!
What does your “me time” look like? Share your favorite solo date ideas in the comments below!
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