Here’s How To Finally Heal From That Toxic Relationship, According To A Trauma Expert

Hi ladies, I’m Terra Newell, PTSD and Trauma Recovery expert and I’m here today to share how important it is to heal your trauma. Many of us don’t even realize how much trauma we carry, or that we can even subconsciously pass it down to our children. Read on to become aware of trauma, how to identify it and what you can do to heal.


Awareness Is Key

It’s important to realize everything you’ve dealt with as a child. There may be underlying traumas that have never been uncovered before, such as: you didn’t get the attention you needed and you may not have been validated for something difficult that happened to you. Even small traumas can resurface later in life.

“Reparent” Yourself And Heal Your Inner Child

It’s important to “reparent” ourselves and heal our inner child before moving forward in any serious romantic relationship. The truth is, if we don’t heal, we keep bringing that crap to the next person for them to heal us, when we’re the one who needs to do the work ourselves. It’s unfair to expect someone else to save you or rescue you. The only way to heal is to do the work and hold yourself accountable. If you’re getting back into certain patterns, in order to stop yourself from transferring your trauma onto your child or relationship, you have to do the groundwork.

What Is The Groundwork?

You should definitely get in touch with a life coach or therapist if you feel like your trauma is getting too overwhelming to handle on your own. Many times when trauma arises, we feel much more triggered, which can surface in anxiety, depression, fear — you name it. But not to worry — a therapist can help with this journey. We can definitely get to a healthy place of coping with the difficult things that have happened to us without getting easily triggered. Have you had experiences in your childhood where you felt like you were not believed, or like you didn’t get attention? Instead of blaming your parents for this, it’s best to work through anger, resentment and fear with a therapist. You have to let it go — when you let it go, that’s when you will have your clarity.

You’ve Done The Work — Now What?

In healthier relationships, you’re at a point to allow more stability in your life. Romantic relationships and friendships flow more effortlessly. You are clear on your boundaries and what you’re willing to accept in your life. You’ll be more aware of your intuition to trust when someone feels toxic in your life. The truth is, in order to help people you have to help yourself first. So don’t think that pushing people out of your life is turning them down completely. You have to heal yourself to better help others. Sometimes this means taking space. Sometimes helping people is establishing boundaries with them so they’ll be able to realize they may be doing something that’s not right. 

If you need help processing through trauma, please book an appointment with Terra Newell HERE. Terra offers monthly life coaching for trauma recovery. 


Did any of these tips from Terra Newell resonate with you? What other tips have helped you heal from trauma? Let us know in the comments below!

Terra Newell

About Terra Newell

My name is Terra Newell! I’m 29 years old, residing in the beautiful Orange County, California. You may have heard my name from an article, podcast, or TV show, but there’s so much more to me than that. Visit my website to discover more about me as I share about travel, music, hiking, my puppies, zombies, fashion, PTSD recovery, and other interests.


IG: @terranewell

Want More Life Tips? Then You’ll Love:

I Learned How To Overcome Self-Sabotage And Increase Self-Compassion And You Can Too

How Past Life Regression Meditation Helped Me Discover My Past Self

Join the Conversation