One of the most popular pieces of advice newlywed couples get is to never stop dating their partner. When you live with someone, it’s hard not to see their flaws, point them out, and get into the habit of taking your partner for granted.
So, how do you avoid getting into monotonous rhythms in marriage? One thing you can do is try making time for weekly marriage meetings.
What is a Marriage Meeting?
If the word “meeting” makes you cringe, know you’re not alone. You’re probably envisioning board rooms, lists, and several tasks. But a marriage meeting should be different from any other meeting you’ve ever been to. Yes, you should go over chores, groceries, and budget, but you can also take time every week to talk about how you and your partner can improve upon your marriage.
More than likely, you and your partner talk every day, so why do you need a scheduled time to talk more? Marriage meetings require a different kind of communication. While you and your partner might update each other on work and life every day, these meetings are a time to pause and connect with your partner. They’re an intentional block of time to have mental check-ups with each other and reassess the progress you’ve each made in your relationship.
We often get bogged down with our daily to-do’s and tasks, and sometimes our partners don’t keep up with their duties (and vice versa). This is why prioritizing a time in which the two of you can come together and discuss the highs and lows of the week, talk your feelings out, and look for ways to improve on your marriage is helpful and needed.
How Can Marriage Meetings Help My Relationship?
I believe you can never go wrong by adding a time and safe space for open and honest communication. That being said, there are some targeted benefits to having weekly marriage meetings.
They Enhance Your Communication and Intimacy
Life is busy and it’s hard to forget about the real world sometimes. How many times have you been on a date night and you find yourself reminding your partner about repairs that need to be made around the house?
This is completely natural and normal – you and your spouse are doing life together and things pop up. But a weekly marriage meeting creates a designated time for you to cover all of those little tasks once a week and table them during date nights, so you can have uninterrupted intimate moments.
They Help Resolve Conflict
Conflict and resentment spread like wildfire if you don’t cut them off at the source. Always be understanding and willing to compromise, but also discuss the things that happened in the past week that might have ticked you off. You and your partner are two imperfect people living together. Approach the things that might have annoyed you with grace and understanding.
Be honest during this time but also be loving and considerate. You should aim to be 100% positive during these meetings and not leave with both of you feeling negatively toward the other. Each of you are doing your best to create a healthy marriage, and that takes a lot of effort.
How to Have the Marriage Meeting
@aprioritizedmarriage marriage meetings #marriage #marriagegoals #marriageadvice #couplestuff #learnontiktok #tiktokpartner ♬ original sound – Amberly – Family Life Educator
One way to make you both excited for the meeting is to begin by acknowledging your appreciation for your partner. Note the things they did in the past week that made you feel special and honored.
1. Plan Your Week Out
After you take the time to be grateful for them, you can start to plan your week out. This could be anything from looking at schedules, creating an action plan, or setting goals for the next week. Also, take note of all the chores or other to-dos — things around the house that need to be fixed, appointments that need to be made, etc., and divvy those up.
2. Ask About Support
Next, ask your partner how you can support them throughout the week. While you are doing life together, the two of you have separate lives and different workloads every day. Discuss that and brainstorm ways to ease each other’s burdens for the week ahead.
After that’s done, check in on your finances and budget. See what you can ease up on or splurge on if you want.
3. Look Ahead for Goals and Fun Moments
In marriage therapist Marcia N. Berger’s book Marriage Meetings, therapist Linda Bloom says, “Cultivating a loving partnership isn’t just about ‘working on our relationship’; it’s also about co-creating experiences that bring pleasure and happiness to each spouse’s life.” While these marriage meetings are meant to be productive, they’re also a time when you can get together with your best friend and life partner and plan for new adventures and things that excite the two of you. These meetings are designed to grow you as a couple.
4. Have a Relationship Check In
The final thing you want to do is check in with your relationship. This is the time to go over every section of your relationship and how you might be able to improve upon it. This could mean solving unresolved conflict, checking in on your kids, checking in on your spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeing, talking about your sex life, and anything else that might be pertinent to your relationship. If you’ve felt a strain or a lack in anything, this is the time to have a vulnerable discussion with your partner about it.
Make it an Experience
As I said before, these meetings aren’t a time when you bring your clipboard and list everything your partner has done wrong in the last week in hopes of making them a perfect spouse. These meetings are designed to be a time when the two of you can be open and vulnerable but also get sh*t done. They’re designed to break you out of the monotony of living together and the repetition of everyday life and allow you to delve into ways to make your relationship stronger than it’s ever been.
Make these times a low-key date night. Put on your comfies, order takeout food, and let yourselves enjoy this uninterrupted time with one another. Let yourselves grow together and create the marriage you’ve always wanted.
Do you and your spouse have marriage meetings? Are you going to now? Comment below!
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