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One of my first words was “fuck.” Now, before you go judging my parents, it wasn’t taught to me (although, I do think it’s adorable to hear toddlers cuss, and that’s why I don’t have kids). As the story goes, I picked up the f-bomb when my mom dropped a glass in the kitchen. She yelled FUCK while I was in my highchair, and I repeated it. My parents laughed, so I kept saying it – you know how it goes.
Just because you’re a mom does not mean you are expected to be a shining example of virtue and clean language. Sure, you try to say fudge instead of the f-word – but you’re only human!
We know you try to watch what you say in front of the kids, but when the time is right, whether it’s a joyful or negative experience, it feels great to let one of those f-bombs fly.
Certainly, we’d prefer that our children wait until they’re older before picking up our habit of cursing at the drop of a hat, but until that time comes, we’ll have to instruct them not to use such language in front of their elders. We can’t have it all together 24/7, and that includes using some colorful language in our everyday interactions that they are bound to overhear.
In honor of your sporadic potty mouth and love of curse words, we’ve compiled a list of swear-filled gear that you can add to your wishlist…or use as curse word gift ideas for the mothers who adore profanity on your Christmas list this year.
Curse Word Gifts
Censored Earrings
Want to upgrade your statement jewelry? These studs should do the trick! Though they may be censored, any mother who occasionally slips up will understand their meaning. It’s human nature to drop the occasional s-bomb now and then.
Barbie Parody Mug
Obviously, Barbie wouldn’t drink out of this mug until she was an adult, but it’s an ideal gift for the mother in your life who shares your enthusiasm for both Barbie and the liberal use of cuss words. And since her children can’t read, they won’t know any better.
Special Shit Premium All Purpose Seasoning
This seasoning blend is ideal for the mother who frequently curses while cooking. This all-purpose seasoning is a mix of salt, pepper, seasoned salt, chili powder, garlic powder, and paprika.
Bitch I Am The Secret Ingredient Oven Mitt
Here’s another present that’s perfect for swearing in the kitchen. The old method of adding twice as much garlic as called for in the recipe won’t make the dish taste any better. The key ingredient in your gift is the person who receives it.
Calm Down Votive Candle
Do you have any friends on your shopping list who, when under pressure, resort to foul language? They may need to light this candle in order to find some tranquility in their hectic lives.
Alternative Cuss Words Pencil Set
This set of pencils is pretty fucking cute if you need to be reminded of some alternative curses.
Good Moms Say Bad Words T-Shirt
The shirt pretty well sums up the situation, no? Even “good moms” occasionally need to use the f-bomb. Of course, there are many wonderful mothers who never use profanity; however, the words we choose to utter under stress have nothing to do with the type of mother we are.
Mother Of The Fucking Year Mug
Coffee and curse word-loving moms, raise your mugs.
Total Badass Tote Bag
Want to help the environment with a reusable tote and send a message to others all at once? This bag screams “I love the planet, but don’t fuck with me.”
I’m A Drop The F Bomb Kind Of Mom Hoodie
What’s better than a cozy hoodie? One with a warning of incoming f-bombs.
Tell us what you think of these curse word gifts in the comments!
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