I know I’ve talked about it before, but if you’re looking for an affordable alternative for your son/daughter’s college textbooks HERE is the link for Amazon’s used college textbook program.
So I’ve been away the last few days driving my older daughter Samantha and her boyfriend Zane across the county and getting them settled into their new home in Georgia where she will be finishing her education. Actually Zane did most of the driving. I love road trips and I love seeing our beautiful country, it really is breathtaking, but MAN- that much time in a small car and I feel like I need a chiropractor! I am definitely too old for that nonsense.
But I am back and since this is my second time dropping off a kid at a far away college and the third time having a kid leave home for a far away place, I thought I would share my thoughts on the experience. I don’t have an empty nest quite yet- still have one at home although since she’s 16 I rarely see her anymore. But they don’t have a word yet for when the baby birds start leaving and the acute pain that a mommy bird feels with one or more of her chicklets out there flying on their own in the storms of life without a parachute. It’s terrifying and exciting and freeing and heartbreaking all at once. It’s a unique feeling- we need a name for it.

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If you’re anything like me, you’re an involved parent. You know your kids friends, the friends’ parents, the coaches of their sports teams, their teachers, and basically where they are and what they’re doing and a fairly good idea of how much sleep they got and what they ate that day… then they go off to college or move out or whatever they choose to do after high school and BAM! POW! Suddenly you know nothing (Jon Snow) you know NOTHING. You know none of their friends, teachers, coaches, or any of the people in their life other than possibly a roommate you meet at dropoff briefly. You know nothing about where they are unless you are tracking them on Find My Friends and you have no clue if they’re eating or taking their meds or getting any sleep or anything. You go from fully involved to being a complete outsider overnight. It’s disconcerting to say the least.
You have to focus on other things, occupy your brain with new projects. Start a new hobby, throw yourself into work. DO NOT transfer that energy to your other kids, they will not appreciate it. Now is a great time to take up a new sport or to try something you’ve always wanted to attempt like running a 5k or learning to code- whatever floats your boat. If you’ve been a stay at home mom, now would be a great time to start volunteering or reenter the workforce part time. But you must stay busy and occupied because it’s long ass time until Thanksgiving and you WILL go insane. So stop obsessing and start remembering who you were before you had kids and what some of the dreams and goals you had for yourself were- are any of them still on your bucket list and still achievable?

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When my son went away to college I toughed it out for a year but eventually I got a puppy. I had never had a puppy before and I may have severely underestimated the time and training required but she sure kept me busy and occupied. She is almost 3 now and it’s like having a toddler in the house still, always needing to be cared for and played with. I’m not sure I would recommend a puppy to anyone, but lots of great dogs and cats at the local animal shelter who are already house trained need homes and they are wonderful distractions and cuddle companions and I promise they won’t leave you for college.
The shirt I am wearing is by Jason Wu Grey but I could not find it online (it’s from two seasons ago… whompwhompwhomp sad violin sounds…) but I did find several other similar styles including some much more affordable options all available now. I linked them below! Perfect transitional piece for Fall.
Screw January 1, back to school has always been my New Years. For me, it’s the time for resolutions, closet cleaning, organization, and starting anew. THIS YEAR is the one. The year I am going to be an organized person. It’s a whole new me! I’m gonna start a new exercise regimen, I’m gonna volunteer for shit (well maybe not), I’m gonna make new mom friends, I’m gonna do all kinds of stuff with all my time once those pesky kids go back to their schedules.
And then the weirdest thing happens, it’s called LIFE. And it always happens and it always gets in my mother fucking way. Somebody gets sick. Somebody’s car needs service and they’re not old enough to drive a rental so I have to go with them and swap cars and there goes my morning. A contractor falls through the ceiling (it happened) or accidentally throws away all the tile you just bought for the new flooring (also happened) and you have to fix it ASAP. Work has a crisis or 10 at once. One of the kids or one of my family members derails and I have to get them back on track and somehow I just don’t seem to find the time to organize those closets or label those files or sort through those photo albums or whatever the hell it was I was going to do this year.
Who are these people anyway? These people who manage to take these amazing posed Christmas card photos AND mail them on time AND keep track of everyone’s addresses? Who are these people who bring their lunches to work in those little Container Store bento boxes AND remember to bring the boxes back home AND wash them out and pack them again the very next damn day and every damn day after that one? Who are these people?
I don’t know, man. Most days I am barely keeping my head above water. Some days I feel like I am keeping my nostrils and little puckered mouth above water and I’m really fucking proud of myself for doing that much. So little bento box packed lunches with meal prepping? That’s just not my journey bitch, but I am giving you mad props for it. You go. I’ll be over here in the drive thru lane wasting $11 on a Starbucks salad that tastes like defeat. But it’s okay. Because sometimes I’ll get Cane’s crinkle fries and sauce and that tastes like joy so there’s that….
To be honest I am just happy when I am back on a schedule and I feel like I can get my arms around life again. Everybody is back to having regular bedtimes and meal times and I can plan my day a bit. My resolution this year is to help my daughter navigate college applications and ACT/SAT and to adjust to the idea that soon enough my nest will be truly empty. I’ve also got my hands full helping my hubby with some health issues as he gets older and looks toward retirement, something I’d like to explore more on the blog. And of course, I am still learning about blogging as it is all very new to me and I am not very tech savvy. So thank you all for your patience, I promise I will improve! What are your New Year’s resolutions for this school year?
I was originally going to write this post specifically about high schoolers, but realized that I could apply most of these tips to my college age children as well. Let’s face it, getting your kids back to school is crazy expensive, but I have a few tips to help make it a little less so. I have 4 kids after all and it gets hella expensive. Between the required books, school supplies, clothes and possible dorm supplies, it’s easy to spend a small fortune. Here are some of my best money saving tips:
Not much we can do about the cost of actual school supplies besides taking advantage of all the special sales that happen this time of year. Also not a lot of control over the cost of yearbooks, ASB cards or parking permits, etc. But we save where we can and we hope they appreciate the small fortune they’re costing us. Hopefully when they’ve graduated and have good jobs (lol at the economy rn) they will put us in the slightly better than terrible nursing homes, am I right? Remember when we used to complain about the cost of diapers? HAHAHAHAHHAHA, if only we knew how good we had it back then.
Megan here today to talk about the ever important diaper bag. I don’t know if any of you guys are in the same boat but I’m in a new stage of life. That mom of not an infant but not a full blown toddler phase. Our diaper bags become smaller, but we still need them in our lives. So, what do you pack? So many times, I’ve packed things I never actually pull out of my bag, but still lug around anyway. Annoying. So, I got realistic and tried to start packing the minimum to see if we could still survive. And guess what? We did! That’s why I’m here to share what I can’t leave home without, in hopes that it will inspire you to pack that perfect bag for you.
1. Diapers: This one is an obvious choice, I know. But leaving this item at home can cost me greatly. We’ve all had those moments with our kids where we think we can just head to the store really quick without baby needs in tow….Big mistake! Huge! Fast forward to parking your car, only to find out baby went poop on the way over. It only takes one of those moments to never forget a diaper again. My favorite brand currently is the Huggies Little Movers, which are perfect for my newly walking toddler.
2. Wipes: Yet another complete and total essential for moms of littles. These magical cloths are the lifeline for all things toddler and baby related. I tend to use the Water Wipes brand, because it’s made from 99.9% water and my littlest has sensitive skin. When packing a pack of wipes in my bag, I tend to look around the house for a pack about half way full, so It doesn’t bulk up my bag too much. I use baby wipes for EVERYTHING… A napkin, a snot rag, makeup remover, sticky hands solution, etc. I don’t see baby wipes leaving my bag anytime soon. They understand my messy life. They get me.
3. Sunscreen: Considering how hot it’s been, this is something I’ve been carrying around with me all Summer. Babies and toddlers have such sensitive skin, and we want to do everything to protect it. My oldest has the most beautiful tan skin, thanks to her Dad’s side of the family. But my youngest, she got blessed with my burns easily pale complexion, so I must protect her. For babies and toddlers, I don’t recommend applying anything that doesn’t have an SPF of at least 50. I use Coppertone Water Babies or Sun Bum brand.
4. Snacks: also known as bribery tools. I can’t go five minutes without being asked for a snack from my 18 month old. It’s her favorite word to say. Being how often she likes to snack, I like to carry around healthy to go options. She is currently going through an Elmo phase, and luckily Earth’s Best brand makes Sesame Street focused snacks. Her favorites are the Sunny Days organic snack bars. She also is really into fruit snacks lately, and my favorite option is Plum Organics Teensy Snacks. Bringing snacks around helps me with those meltdowns at Target and is a big money saver when were out and about. Snacks for the win.
5. Water or Juice: The Teething stage can really suck. Thank goodness for ice cold beverages. A sippy cup that is durable is essential for this essential. She’s in that faze where throwing her cup overboard is straight comedy gold, so it has to withstand some dropping. I always have a sippy cup with water or juice in tow to keep her hydrated and happy. I fill it with ice and it keeps her pretty happy. Hydrate those toddlers! It’s a super hot one out there.
6. Toddler Shoes: We’re at that awkward stage where we love to walk ( it’s a new thing) but we also love to not where shoes or socks..ever. If I put her shoes on in the car, she’ll take them off and throw them before we reach our destination. So, I keep them in my purse for safe keeping until we get where we need to be. Feeling a bit of a winner knowing I’ve outsmarted her need to ruin my hard work of getting her dressed in the morning.
7. Lip Balm: I cant keep enough tubes of lip balm in my life to satisfy both me and my kids need for it. The weather has been so hot and dry this Summer, lip balm has been a tiny hero for us. I like the Sun Bum lip balm because it has sunscreen protectant built in, and it smells like pineapple, which is AMAZING.
8. Aquaphor: This stuff is a gift from the Gods. It helps with everything from chapped lips to diaper rash, and I’m obsessed. I love how it comes in small to go sizing, and I can’t help but put it on everything in life. Aquaphor is just a mom staple in general, but I personally can’t go anywhere without it. That’s why it will always be in my bag, at least until she reaches preschool.
Bottom line, this stage is a weird stage. You so badly want to use your cute little purses collecting dust in the closet, but you’re just not there yet. You need things. Your little needs things. I just like to whittle it down to the minimum essentials at this point, so you still have room for your personal essentials without having too much bulk. Enjoy the little stage while it’s here, because it never lasts long enough. Conquer your world in style and leave all the extra bulk at home. XOXO
<I’m gonna hand the mic over to Megan here for this topic as I have no personal experience with this one. I just want to tell all y’all that have experienced it that you are fierce warrior chicks and I can’t even fathom the strength required to power through depression on top of fluctuating hormones and sleep deprivation. You’re literally wonder woman and you rock. So here is Megan’s experience and what worked for her. You need to try any and all things to find what works for you and not apologize for it, not listen to anyone else, and not feel guilty for taking help in whatever form you need it.>
Okay lets talk about Postpartum depression…….
Its an ugly monster of a topic. And it effects 1 in 7 new mothers out there. Postpartum depression is more than just “feeling down” or having the “baby blues”. The stress and sadness you experience can paralyze you emotionally and leave you feeling hopeless. It’s something I never knew too much about, until it happened to me.
My first pregnancy was like any other. She was a “happy accident” and the entire pregnancy was easy peasy. After having my first, I experienced nothing but happy yet completely exhausted bliss. Fast forward six years later and we became blessed with another pregnancy, after trying for a very long time. Everything was perfect. And in a matter of minutes, it wasn’t. Two months into my pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. My entire body was in pain and the emotional anguish wasn’t any better. I wasn’t wanting to give up on my dream of giving my daughter a sibling, so I continued to try for that dream. Three months later, we became pregnant again. This pregnancy was filled with anxiety and fear for the entire nine months and into the delivery room. All I wanted was to see those perfect little eyes looking at me, happy and healthy. Our prayers were answered and now I was a mother of two perfect little people.
My postpartum started to sneak up on me slowly. At the beginning, I thought it was just sleep deprivation mixed with my inability to adjust to this new life of having absolutely no time to myself. Factor in the lack of showering, constant breastfeeding, and limited social interaction, its easy to lose your identity during this time. At some point I thought I would get my “groove back”. I thought that I would one day get that feeling like I could actually take on the day with success, but I noticed each day was getting harder and harder. The things I loved and enjoyed no longer brought a smile to my face. I was an emotional mess. I cried all the time, and in times that it certaintly didn’t call for it. I started to resent my beautiful babies and not really want to spend any time with them. Something inside wasn’t right, and it was robbing me of life’s most beautiful moments.
After realizing my symptoms were reminiscent of postpartum depression, I called my doctor right away. I explained how I was feeling, and the doctor proceeded to talk to me about medication. I knew I didn’t want to use medication, even the breastfeeding friendly kind, because it just wasn’t my jam. I wanted to handle my issues free of medicine. It was the more difficult choice to make, but it was my choice. In order to tackle PPD minus medication, it was going to require some serious mental strength. I did find a way to make it on the other side of PPD with a few homeopathic methods. These are the ones I recommend:
1. TALK IT OUT
You are NOT alone on this. This is not your fault. The more you talk to your doctor, counselor, therapist, or friend about your feelings, the less likely they will manifest into something bigger or harmful. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of self harm , call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK
2. PRENATAL YOGA
I know that sounds weird, because prenatal yoga is meant for when the baby is still in the tummy. But the methods used in prenatal yoga are meant to find a sense of calm and inner happiness. It causes you to relax and unwind, while stretching your body out and bringing blood to the brain, releasing those happy feelings and causing you to think and function at a much healthier rate. I practiced it every morning and it drastically changed my mood for the day.
3. RE CONNECT WITH YOUR HOBBY
Find something you enjoy and dive into it. Focus your energy on something that creates rather than destroys. I know it seems silly to develop a hobby while your world is nothing but dirty diapers and throw up, but even an hour away to do yoga, attend a painting class, or learn to skateboard can make you feel more like an actual person again.
4. WORK OUT LIKE A BOSS
Exercise can help lift your spirits. Once you’ve recovered from giving the gift of life, try to get some workouts in a few times a week. They don’t even have to be strenuous, but getting that heart rate up will help those blues feel less terrible. It’s not about getting that perfect bod back, its about getting that smile back, one day at a time.
Whatever your postpartum journey is, know youre not alone. I relied on friends and family to get me through, but there are many websites that cater to helping women experiencing postpartum depression. You’re a kick ass human being that just created life from your body. It’s a freaking miracle what you have done. Allow yourself time to heal and don’t be ashamed to ask for help from those around you. Be open with your depression and know in time it will subside. You got this babe.
