I live in an area (Orange County, California) where no one cleans their own home. Plus I have much larger than average homes, so most people who know me think it’s completely insane that I don’t have a housekeeper. I have had all kinds of housekeepers in the past-  from once a week cleaning teams to full time live-in and literally everything in between. But I’ve realized over the years that, especially now when it’s just Alex, one teenager and I at home, it’s easier just to do it myself. Like WAY easier. Here’s my rationale:

First off- I don’t love having other people, non family members all up in my space all the time. I appreciate the helpfulness aspect, but sometimes I just want to be alone in my own home and do whatever weird things I feel like doing (no not like that) and not feel awkward about it. And if I feel like having a lazy pajama day and eating pizza in my bed watching Law & Order reruns on a random Wednesday, it’s hard not to feel guilty doing that when someone just made that bed and washed those sheets and is trying to clean around you.

Secondly, I’m extremely particular about how things are done. And Alex is even worse than me. Plus he collects rare antiques and art that are literally priceless. I can’t risk some cleaning crew coming in and knocking something over or catching the corner of some 500 year old irreplaceable rug in vacuum cleaner that I spent minutes explaining shouldn’t be used but why would they listen to me because aren’t all rugs vacuumed? I always come off sounding difficult and apologizing or even worse just telling them to skip cleaning entire rooms which then what even is the whole point? So great let me pay you a small fortune to come over and clean my kitchen and bathrooms when that’s not even a problem since those need to get done everyday anyway?

Lastly, I just really like cleaning honestly. I enjoy the immediate gratification of it. Something was dirty and then poof, minutes later it’s sparking clean. Job well done, here’s your reward. No waiting years to see if you actually accomplished your goal. Not like child rearing or marriage or building a brand or real estate investment or any of the myriad of other aspects of my complicated life. My favorite room to clean in our whole country home is the pool cabana room because it is comprised entirely of white tile and the grid system speaks to my OCD nature. The amazing symmetry and perfection of watching the squares go from dirty to pristine just makes me heart sing. Am I a weirdo or what?

SO here are my cleaning tips and tricks for a streamline process of how I clean each room and manage to keep two 10,000 square foot houses clean without losing my mind. The key is to have a system and great tools.  If you are so inclined, I suggest making a schedule by  breaking your home into zones of rooms that need daily cleaning (kitchen, bathrooms and bedrooms that get daily use, and the main living space) and zones that could get by with weekly maintenance (guest rooms, guest baths, offices, lesser used living spaces, etc).  I also have a monthly list for myself that includes things like garages, storage, and checking lightbulbs, or tackling organizational projects and things that can get out of control like filing or putting away seasonal items etc.

Ready to get started? Let’s start with what’s in my kit. I’m going to link some of my go-to must have items here with their Amazon links so you know what I am referring to as I mention them, so feel free to click through when you see an item mentioned. I always have microfiber cleaning cloths in my kit for dry surfaces like dusting or glass. Then I will have regular rags always lint free for use with spray cleaners. For these I usually use old towels or even old tee shirts, but you can also buy from the automotive department. Don’t buy the paint rags, they don’t work. And I swear by Magic Erasers. These will change your life. Then for the products I love- Pledge Multi-Surface, Method All Purpose Lavender, Spray Way glass cleaner foam, The Works toilet cleaner, LA’s Totally Awesome spot remover and degreaser, Folex carpet spot remover. I keep everything in one of these. If you like to use a duster or you have a lot of ledges or crevices, I recommend the Swiffer Duster. Oh and of course, trash bags and a step stool and depending on what type of floors you have you’ll need a vacuum, broom and/or mop.

Ok, so we have our kit and we are ready to clean. Whatever room you start with, pick a beginning spot. If it’s a “wet” room, I start at the sink, it’s just an obvious spot. As rags get dirty you throw them in this sink since it’ll be the last thing you will be cleaning anyway. If it’s any other room, I typically start at the doorway and use the doorjamb as my beginning point. I can’t stress this enough, always always start at the top because gravity! Your instinct will be to start at eye level but then when you dust anything higher up, you will just ruin what you’ve already done and have to start over. So start at the top, if you are dealing with simple dust, use a microfiber towel (dry) or a Swiffer Duster and swipe quickly with a downward flick at the end of each shelf or ledge etc. If the Swiffer gets gross then take it outside and put the handle between the palms of your hands and twirl it, the dust will all come off.

When you’ve reached a natural break point like a corner or door/window go back to your starting point and do the next level down. For glass, if it’s just dusty or has a few water drops, microfiber (dry) and most water drops will come off easily. If it’s very splotchy, mist with the glass cleaner foam and switch to a clean, dry rag. Finish with a new microfiber until it’s perfect. Counter tops get Method multipurpose mist with a swipe of a rag unless they are sticky or heavily dirty then they get Totally Awesome and let it sit for a few seconds before you swipe. If it’s actually really bad like grease or toothpaste, you can finish with a wet magic eraser. Any marks on walls get a clean, new wet magic eraser. I always run my hand over every surface after to make sure it feels perfectly clean to the touch because looks can be deceiving. Stainless steel appliances get Pledge multi surface or they streak. Wood, stone, antiques, or any porous surface gets Pledge multi-surface and especially delicate things just get a microfiber and no cleaner. Continue to work clockwise around the room until you are back where you started from and that way you know you didn’t miss anything. Don’t forget the lowest level isn’t just the floor- it’s the feet of the furniture, the rails of tables and chairs, the bottoms of kitchen cabinets that get drips, baseboards, etc.

For bathrooms: every bathroom has it’s own toilet brush so I don’t carry those around. I  keep them tucked behind each toilet bowl. So first thing I do is break from my clockwise pattern and always swish the This Works cleaner up under the lip of the toilet bowl. While I am cleaning the room, it will run down and clean the bowl for me, removing any rings or marks and I just have to do a quick swish with the brush on my way out. Be careful, this product is very caustic and should be used with caution. It can remove a lot of stubborn stains and lime, hard water, calcium etc. from drains, faucets, and other bathroom surfaces but DO NOT get it on your skin or let it splash on your skin or eyes. And keep it away from kids and pets obviously. I use gloves with this one whenever I am using it for anything else but the toilet bowl. If you have a ring in the tub or any of those stubborn white or green calcification stains around your faucet or drain, just squeeze some of this stuff on there and let it sit. It’s also fairly effective at unclogging drains or getting stains off the sides of toilets too (moms of boys, where you at??).

I keep a trash bag with me and empty trash cans as I go and honestly the entire process of daily cleaning takes me less than two hours even if the house is particularly messy. And it’s great cardio. I mean, seriously, I would be paying someone to do this and then going to the gym and paying a trainer to walk me through motions that are legit the same things I would be doing if I was at home cleaning my own house. So I paid two people for the same result? I don’t get it. It’s like when women I know pay dog walkers to walk their dogs so that they can go on their treadmills. I’m like wtf you dumb bish?

Sorry, that sounded judgy and I am totally NOT. I have had housekeepers and not had housekeepers and I think 100% to each his own. I might have one again in the future, who knows? Things change, circumstances change. I’m not for or against anything. This is just my situation right now and what’s working for me at this moment in time. If I hated cleaning or even just didn’t prefer to do it, and I can afford not to, then there’s no reason why I should. So please take this post the way it is intended, as a little helpful how to on what works for me. How I manage to clean my house and if any of the tips work for you- yay! If not, that’s cool. If you have products or tips that you want to share with me, I would LOVE to hear! Thanks for reading you guys!!!