When was the last time you went out with your significant other, a friend, or a family member? Probably no more than a week or so, right? Now, when was the last time you went out with yourself?
For most of us, the answer is never.
I personally have never taken myself on a real date night. I go out by myself all the time to grab groceries or even have a treat myself day when I go shopping, but I don’t actually take myself on dates.
When did we start valuing quality time with others so much more than with ourselves?
We need to treat ourselves the way we would treat our significant others in a relationship. This is how we become healthier and able to give out more love. You’ve heard the phrase, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Right now, many of us are empty cups looking to others to fill us up with the love we need.
In case you haven’t learned this already, seeking that kind of love from others isn’t going to really help you fully love yourself. So how do we get that intentional TLC? I listened to a podcast recently that suggested we should all take ourselves out on dates. The hosts said to go to a restaurant and not bring our phones or books or any distractions and just be with ourselves.
This might have been the scariest suggestion I have ever been given.
Why would I go out alone? Why would I say no to my partner taking me out and choose to do it myself? And the most important question: What will people think? We get so in our heads about other people’s perceptions and what they might think. So much so that we sometimes let it get in the way of us doing something for the good of ourselves. Worst case scenario: A random stranger thinks that you’re sad and alone. Best case scenario: A random stranger thinks that you’re sad and alone so he pays for your dinner.
Here are some benefits to dating youself:
No Compromising
Compromise is a huge part of most relationships. More than likely you and your partner won’t agree on everything. This isn’t the case if you date yourself – you get to choose everything. While compromising is a wonderful tool to use and know, it’s great to be selfish with yourself sometimes.
You Become Comfortable with Your Thoughts
Our thought life is so powerful. When we really give ourselves the time to listen to what we’re thinking we can grow. If we constantly drown our thoughts out with music and TV we will never really know what’s going on in our heads. This is why practices like meditation are so important.
You’ll Know What You Really Want
So many times we get so busy asking others what they want that we forget to ask ourselves what we want. If you go out with the sole intention of loving yourself, you’ll be able to better help others love you properly.
You Need to Love Yourself First
No matter how wonderful your partner is, you need to be the one who loves you the most in every relationship. Taking yourself out on these dates will help you love and take care of yourself.
So How Do You Take Yourself on a Date?
Taking yourself out to dinner is the obvious one, but here are some other fun solo date ideas to get you that much-needed me-time!
Go To A Class
No, I’m not talking about going back to college, but consider taking a class in something you’ve always wanted to do. Dance classes are super fun and you can find group dance classes, so you won’t need a partner. You can also find baking classes, bartending classes, and other fun classes online or in person.
Be a Tourist in Your Own Town
Whether you’ve just moved or you were born there, check your town out! Look online to see the most popular places to go where you live and go to them. You might find a hidden gem or a new local hangout! If you’re like me and live in a bigger city, just walk down to one of the touristy areas and do some people watching.
Check Off a Bucket List Item
Have you been wanting to do that one thing on your bucket list for years? Go do it! This is your time to show up for yourself and accomplish the goals you set. If you don’t have a bucket list yet, make one! It will help you realize what you really want out of life and what brings you joy.
Take a Sunday Drive
I used to do this all the time. When you’re in the car with people, you are usually aware of them and their needs. You don’t get to choose the playlist or the road you take or the stops you make. Go to the gas station, pick your favorite snacks, make a boss ass playlist, and drive. I lived in the mountains when I did this, so the scenery was stunning. If you can get out of the city and just be in nature, that’s a bonus. You also don’t need to listen to music and you can just be alone with your thoughts. It’s such an amazing time for you.
Have a Spa and Movie Night
I used to do this as a kid. I would kick my family out of our living room, put on a face mask and a movie I wanted to watch, and be alone. It was me being completely selfish with my alone time and it probably was the first date I actually took myself on. I didn’t get dressed up and I didn’t impress anyone, I just showed up for myself.
Go for a Walk
These date night ideas don’t have to be expensive. Sometimes loving yourself means letting your body move a bit and being away from it all. I like to take at least one walk every week where I don’t check my phone and I’m not worried about anything. These are usually in the evenings when everything is winding down. Moving your body is loving your body, but I’m not asking you to do a HIIT or Crossfit workout — just a small little evening walk.
Get a Mani Pedi
Pampering yourself in your house is one thing, but going out to get pampered? So much better. Book an appointment for yourself to get some real TLC. If you don’t like your nails painted then get your hair blown out. Even if it’s a bit of a plurge, the me-time is worth it!
Understand That It’s More Than Dinner
Dating yourself isn’t just about one dinner once a month. It’s an ongoing relationship. As with every relationship, there will be ups and downs, but it will be for the best. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will have for your entire life — cherish it.
This might mean that one night a week you do whatever you want and your husband takes the kids. This might also mean that you slowly incorporate small habits into your days that make you feel special and loved. Understand that it might take a bit, but it will be so worth it in the end.
When was the last time you dated yourself? Are you going to start now? Comment below!
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